Co-parenting

Well today is my ex-husbands birthday. For those who know us it will be no surprise that I include him in my blog, Happy Birthday Nitram…if you are reading this.

Being a parent is for life even when marriage sometimes isn’t. We were married almost ten years and had two amazing boys. When we split (over five years ago now) the first thing we decided was that the kids would always come first. Now this was not always easy. The first year was hell. But we both worked very hard to put the kids first and work together as co-parents.

We communicate everything about the kids from school functions, to sports, bedtimes and discipline. There was no way that our kids would be worried to have us both in the same room. I didn’t want them sitting at their graduation or wedding worrying that we were both there and would not get along. The exact opposite occurred actually.

The kids spend a week at each house and are very happy and well adjusted. Due to their very busy schedules rarely do I go more that a couple of day with out seeing them. We share driving duties if they both have events at the same time. And if one has an event that goes late the other will pick him up and bring him home so the other kid can go to bed. We share everything 50/50.

People mistake us for being married all the time. We both attend everything the boys do. We support them together as we are both their parents and they deserve to have both of us there. People ask me all the time how do we do it. I can’t say just one thing but the most important thing is the kids come first, over your hurt feelings and your anger. It wasn’t easy it was agony at times but with a lot of hard work we created a new relationship a friendship. I can say very happily now that the boy’s dad is one of my closest friends and I am glad he is.

Our oldest son once said to me…after he did something at one house and got an ear full from both of us, “man this sucks I can’t get away with anything”. I think at is a testament on how well we have worked through a tough situation.

This is not a perfect situation that would be if we weren’t divorced, but since that is never going to happen…we would kill each other LOL I think we have done quite well and have made it as perfect for the boys as we can.
Note to Nitram…I didn’t call them my kids once…did you notice LOL